ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Debbie Kalodye is a project manager from New Jersey, currently living on a sailboat on the California coast. When she’s not writing, she enjoys time spent with her family and friends, traveling, and being outdoors.
Debbie’s debut memoir, Truth About Mother, offers a compelling and heartfelt account of her life, from her challenging childhood to her remarkable journey toward healing and resilience. Through her personal story, Debbie aims to provide hope and solace to readers who have faced similar traumatic experiences. With her project manager and educator background, she brings a unique perspective and a wealth of skills to her writing.
Do you know if you’re crazy? This is a question I’ve contemplated for most of my life. I don’t think I am, but how did I not inherit that gene? How did everything I’ve been through not make me wildly irrational and out of control? The few people who have gotten close enough to hear my stories are shocked by my past because I appear “normal.” I’ve been praised for not turning to drugs, alcohol, or worse, things that would make it all seem more believable. But I chose a different path.
Mother certainly knew she was crazy and knew how to hide it very well. To most, she appeared kind, giving, and much too beautiful to be evil. She took great pride in being a master at manipulation and revenge. My most vivid childhood memory is her Ruger 22 caliber handgun under her car seat and the hit list in her wallet. The hit list consisted of the loved ones of those she felt betrayed her, and the list included me. Betraying her meant that she lost her power to control you. If she thought you wronged her, she wouldn’t target you; she knew hurting the person you loved the most was much more painful. I was Daddy’s little girl, and he had hurt her deeply. She bragged that she could get away with anything and blame it on her seizures and medications. She convinced me she was a victim, and my job was to protect her. And I spent most of my life doing exactly that until I realized that she had been hurting the one I loved the most, my son.
Most of my memories confused me, blurry stories that didn’t fit together. My life felt like a puzzle with a lot of missing pieces. I wasn’t even sure if everything in my head was real. Mother tried to convince me that I was the crazy one, that my memories were just nightmares, and that nothing I remembered happened. In my late 40s, I returned to my childhood roots, the people at the beginning of my story, and those who knew her best and were affected by her. I dug up the truth, the missing pieces of my stories, and confronted Dad to confirm them.
After a lot of time and tears, I’ve purged the pain of Mother’s abuse. I feel strong enough to share my stories. I no longer consider myself a victim. I am a survivor. I understand that many people affected by Mother have their scars and may have a different perspective than I do. This is my truth, from my perspective, as I recall it.
TRUTH ABOUT MOTHER, is my 80,000-word debut memoir, touching on themes of abuse, resilience, personal growth, and the pursuit of truth. It raises questions about the inherited nature of mental illness. It dispels some common notions associated with abusers.
Truth About Mother recalls my emotional journey of growing up with an abusive mother, revealing the dark, ugly secrets hidden behind my mother’s exterior beauty and grace and my deeply personal and harrowing journey from a victim to a survivor, chronicling the psychological abuse I endured at the hands of my mother. Through this narrative, I aim to shed light on the lasting impact of psychological abuse.
Advance Praise for
TRUTH ABOUT MOTHER
“Debbie's story, Truth About Mother, resonates on multiple levels, and her ability to share her vulnerabilities with such raw authenticity is both courageous and commendable. This book serves as a compelling reminder that the human spirit is capable of weathering even the most tempestuous storms, ultimately emerging stronger and more resilient.”
- M. Scott Mortensen, Clinical Director Regenerative Medicine (Psychiatry)
“Heartbreakingly beautiful story. Debbie's will and spirit is incredibly strong. Her story shines light on the very dark reality that is often hidden from plain sight. Psychological and emotional abuse often leaves unseen scars that ripple out for a lifetime. Debbie offers invaluable insights and opportunities for others to learn and heal from her journey. A must read!”
-Cassy Brezner, Marriage and Family Therapist
“Truth about Mother is a compelling and engaging story of one woman’s personal truth. Debbie’s emotional and impactful journey through years of trauma and escape is a testimony to us all about the spirit of grit. She coped year after year, always finding a way to survive. She shows how the consequences are real on one’s personal physical, mental, and spiritual health. I thank her for the courage to share this important story so that others may heal.”
- Karen Clemens, Certified Health Coach, Owner/Operator of Sole Health Coaching
“As someone who grew up with a very loving and nurturing mom, I didn’t think I could relate to Debbie’s story. But her brilliant and detailed writing drew me into her world. Her story made me feel empathetic to her challenges and impressed by her resilience. Truth About Mother is fascinating. Each chapter shocked me and made me want to read more. Her determination to escape her uniquely horrifying relationship with her mother can be an inspiration to all. I can visualize how her journey can easily be made into a compelling movie or mini-series. I highly recommend Debbie’s memoir be shared and read.”
– Matthew Schmidt, Writer/Filmmaker/Director
TRUTH ABOUT MOTHER
Book Cover Concept
“Mother’s Flowers” Art by Geaniel Harvey
“Mother painted the old cinder blocks white for a fresh new look. She worked hard to make the yard look nice. She took great pride in a small garden just off the front corner of the house, squeezed between the front door and an old, rusted oil tank. She filled the small garden with brilliant purple flowers. Purple was very significant to her. It was always her favorite color and her birthstone, amethyst. During certain times of the year, the purple flowers would fall off and blow all over the yard and onto the sidewalk. The smell of the flowers was very distinct and filled the air around her home. The thought can almost take me back there and makes me shiver. Just like the exterior of her home, Mother’s exterior beauty had everyone fooled. They only saw the brilliant, beautiful purple flowers and took in the overwhelming fragrance left behind. No one seemed to look close enough to see the ugly, cracked, white-painted block wall underneath.”
Special Thanks
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Fine Art Photography by Joan Zopf-Faram
Joan is a fine art photographer who beautifully interprets the world around her. I am thankful for the flattering author bio photos.
Visit her page here.
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Art by Geaniel Harvey
Geaniel creates beautiful images using oil on canvas. I am thankful for her work “Mother’s Flowers” that she painted for my book cover concept.
Visit her page here.
